


Who We Are

by scifi



Series: long way home (ii tour fics) [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pride, Tour Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 21:37:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15033836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifi/pseuds/scifi
Summary: during their flight, phil wonders what it would like if things were different; if they were out and proud.





	Who We Are

**Author's Note:**

> written for phandomficfest's pride flash fest!

It was dark in the cabin, all the lights were off, except for the galley hidden behind a curtain and a few screens lighting up people’s faces. Phil took his glasses off so he could wipe away the tears that had dampened his cheeks. He knew what he’d be getting himself into with Queer Eye but he was a puddle of emotions. Crying in the dark on a plane midway over the Atlantic wasn’t how he expected the flight to go and he needed the comfort of familiar arms around him to chase away the tears.

He climbed out of his seat, looking over at Dan beside him, face illuminated by his own screen, and weaved around so he could climb into Dan’s. Even though business class was spacious, the seat wasn’t meant for two giant men cuddling but Phil didn’t care. The cabin was dark and he needed this. He needed to listen to Dan’s heavy heartbeat.

“Phil?” Dan whispered his voice gravely from not talking for hours. 

He slipped in beside Dan, pulling up the thin blanket so he was trapped within Dan’s warm, pressed snuggly against his solid body. 

“Needed a cuddle,” Phil whispered back, pressing a kiss on his cheek. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too,” Dan shifted beside him, allowing for them both to get comfortable in the small space.

He brought a hand up to Phil’s cheek to stroke it but Dan paused, “Have you been crying?”

Phil turned his head toward Dan’s chest, trying to hide the embarrassed smile that pulled on his lips, “Queer Eye.”

Beneath him, Dan chuckled. It was almost silent but Phil felt the low rumble in Dan’s chest.

“That’s a valid cry,” Dan shifted so he could steal a kiss. It was risky but they had started taking more risks in the past few months. Phil just hoped that an air hostess didn’t decide that now was a great time to walk through the cabin. 

“Do you ever wish we were like them? The Fab Five?” Phil asked against Dan’s lips.

“What do you mean?” Dan asked, looking at him quizzically.

He hesitated. They had danced across this topic for as long as they’d known each other and they both knew the answers, but sometimes he needed reassurance from the one who mattered most.

“Out and proud.”

“We are proud,” Dan countered instantly, cupping Phil’s face with his hand. “We are so fucking proud of who we are and what we are.”

“I know,” Phil sighed. “Sometimes I just see people be so vocal about being queer and wish that was us. I wish we could show that side of us to everyone.”

Dan looked at Phil for what felt like forever, eyes flicking back and forth as if he was studying Phil, trying to decipher him, “But we do. Our love is part of who we are, just because we aren’t walking the streets dressed in rainbow and wavings flags doesn’t make us any less part of the community. Nor does it mean we’re hiding it from everyone.”

“It might be nice to dress head to toe in rainbow one day,” Phil mused.

“Already halfway there,” Dan lifted a foot to show off his multi-coloured socks. “My toes are rainbow. One day the rest of me will but even then, does it really matter?”

Phil thought about it for several moments. No, it doesn’t really matter because they were happy. So bloody happy with what they had. Sometimes he wondered what it would be like if they put their sexuality in the spotlight, making it a defining factor of who they were, or go to pride with thousands who were the same. Sometimes he wished that could be them but then he remembered that the two of them had enough pride within themselves to drown out those niggling thoughts.

He was so proud of Dan and who he had become. So proud of himself and the way he has accepted what he once ignored. Proud of the two of them and how deeply in love they seemed to fall every single day. 

They might not be covered in rainbows and celebrating in the streets but they had each other and that was enough pride for Phil.

“You’re right,” he leant in to kiss Dan again. “It doesn’t matter.”

When Phil pulled away he shuffled down so he could rest his head on Dan’s chest, letting his slow breathing and gentle thump of his heart drown out the relentless drone of the plane’s engines and a baby crying somewhere back in economy. He allowed the world around to melt away until he wasn’t 39,000ft in the air in a seat not meant for two people, until it was just a world comprised of him and Dan. Nothing else mattered but the two of them.


End file.
